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I’m not going to go into detail, but something along these lines happened to me.
I should have been ecstatic, it was what most people would have wanted, however I just wasn’t feeling it.
I thought maybe it was because I was scared to allow myself to enjoy these kind of things, but no, I simply believe I am just not that kind of person, or at least not yet anyway.
But then I tried to convince myself to let it happen, to enjoy it, to not be scared and to let my guard down. Once again I get hurt, no explanation, no closure as always.
Or maybe I didn’t get hurt or lose it, but simply became a different person and certain things affected me in a way that they normally wouldn’t have due to past experiences and insecurities.