I went out with a girlfriend in Montclair, NJ, to a fun place called Just Jakes. It was a little deceiving, sure, but I thought telling the guys I was a single mom would influence their answers—and I wanted raw thoughts.
It was lovely being out sans Jack, having a cold beer at the bar, surrounded by other adults enjoying drinks, conversation, and music. I videotaped their answers, transcribed what they said, and here’s what I got: “My mom was a single mom most of my childhood, so I have tons of respect for single mothers.
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I would just be really cautious about getting close to the kid, because if it didn’t work out, I’d feel bad if the kid got attached, then hurt.” “I think it would be a pain.
My friend dated a single mom and she was always breaking plans because of childcare issues, or suggesting he just come over and watch a movie. Maybe she’s like my friend and had a baby after just dating someone. I dated a single mom who had a lot of issues with her ex and I found that I got sucked into a lot of drama.
I’m young and I want to have fun, out in the world, not be tied down to someone’s living room while her kid sleeps in the bedroom. I admire my friend for being a stand-up guy and taking care of his son, so my opinion of a woman doing the same … Also, her ex had issues with me being around his daughter because he was threatened by the relationship that was forming.
Also, my friend’s ex had a kid that always wanted to sleep in his mom’s bed and that would be a problem for me. I want all the perks that come with a grown-up relationship.” “A lot of my friends are divorced and one guy even has a kid after a one-night stand.
I feel like we hear a lot of dating horror stories. What I wasn't prepared for was for so much to go ... What I'm not doing: "Hanging" with a group of single friends and hoping to hook up with someone by the end of the night.2. However you feel about it, that is still happening as well.